Years ago, the makers of South Park made a doll resembling Matt Damon in the movie Team America. The doll came out a little wonky looking and they decided to just go with it and make the character a bit mentally challenged, simply repeating his name endlessly… “Maaaattt Damoon!”
It’s funny because it couldn’t be further from the truth — Matt Damon is a serious actor, dedicated to his craft and capable of playing a very wide range of wildly different characters, portraying all of them in a believable and natural way…
And then there’s Mark Wahlberg. He’s basically the ‘Team America doll’ version of Matt Damon if it was an actual person and somehow got into movies.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying Mark Wahlberg is ‘challenged’ in any way. It’s just that Mark Wahlberg always plays… Mark Wahlberg. He’s always the buff, kinda dumb cocky guy solving problems with his fists. He’s always the slightly older dude with the super fit body who gets into some mess and has to get out of it, somehow.
It’s funny because they look almost related… the same stocky bodies, similar-ish faces. They couldn’t be brothers, but cousins, sure thing. Lets assume for a moment they both went to acting school at the same time. Same class. Same year. Damon was likely the teacher’s pet, top of his class, always got the best grades — he’s there to get better. Then there’s Wahlberg. He’s the guy in the back seat, flexing his biceps and trying to hook up with his female classmates by enticing them with some of Marky Mark’s latest work.
I see Matt Damon and I believe he’s Will Hunting. I believe he’s Ripley, or a brilliant spy. I fully believe he is that astronaut… Mark Wahlberg couldn’t play a brilliant conman, or an astronaut, because the audience wouldn’t buy it — we believe him as the bodybuilder in trouble with the law, or the nasty ex-husband, but there’s no way this guy went to NASA…
